he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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