Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
