Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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