Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's Friday. Sex?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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