I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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