remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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