I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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