I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
