oh god the rape fog is back!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
