Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
