did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
