Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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