I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
