If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
