What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
