Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
