you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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