How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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