I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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