Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
