So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
