ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
