dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
