I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm at about main and main street
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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