I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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