I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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