Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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