Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
