oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
