I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
In America we eat man semen.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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