Rock
Scissors
Fuck
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
