Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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