Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

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(248): View more from Michigan

He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"

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(419): View more from Ohio

Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.

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(509): View more from Washington

I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.

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