I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize