I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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