Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
