Sry I called you an 8
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
