My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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