Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she smelled like a LAN party
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
