We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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