I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
