I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
