You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Everclear isn't food dammit
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
