i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
