Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
