Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
