I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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