I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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