Do you still have your period?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
