I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
