brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
