i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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