what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
