We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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