now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
