pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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