Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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