It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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