you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Randomize
