I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
