pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we're making bets on your personal life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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