HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize