Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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