I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
