i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I would fuck him just for his dog
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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