I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
