What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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