i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize