so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
