North Korea, Best Korea!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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