Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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