do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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