New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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