M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize