Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
