I hope mine doesn't look like that
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
