Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
