Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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